Monday, September 14, 2009

The Swayziest Christmas of Them All

Patrick Swayze passed away Monday September 14, 2009. I'll admit I never found him to be a great actor. He was, however, someone who knew what worked for him and he was able to capitalize on it. For that, he should be admired. A wise man once told me "bloom where you're planted." he did. I don't know for sure but I hope he made a fortune off of his chick flix and lowbrow action movies.

I think Mike Nelson said it best in his book Movie Megacheese:

What I really believe is that a film should be judged on how well it comes off compared with the Patrick Swayze film Road House. For Road House is the single finest American film. Certainly it stinks, but I believe the filmmakers meant it to, and succeeded grandly.

Therefore, films not containing poor performances by Patrick Swayze or Kevin Tighe will be judged harshly. Those that lack Ben Gazarra as their evil villain will be roundly castigated. There is no excuse for not telling the story of a legendary bouncer who finds love and confronts his demons at a small bar just outside Kansas City. And while adherence to a Road Housian standard certainly should be a requirement for every film, it needn't be the only requirement.

Some of you may recognize parts of this quote from when this blog was still in it's "annoy my friends with unsolicited e-mail about a movie" phase.

The Satellite of Love performed a wonderful salute to Patrick Swayze in the form of a Christmas Carol some years ago.

A Patrick Swayze Christmas

I tried to embed a video but it wouldn't let me use anything that wasn't already on my computer.

Rest in Peace Patrick.

Trailer for Roadhouse
Rifftrax Roadhouse Fight Scene

Friday, September 11, 2009

The Dark Side of the Baseball

It was a slow August. We did go see a dollar movie before school started for the kids but it was Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian and, well... y'know. There wasn't a whole lot there. If, however I think of some things about it while writing this post then I'll be sure to try and make it interesting. No, this time I'm talking about Field of Dreams. Or, maybe sports movies in general, or maybe that Hobbit movie that is supposed to be coming out in a year or so. Just stay with me, we'll find out together where this ends up.

I did see Field of Dreams the other night. I really only saw it once before if I remember correctly. Aside from the ham-handed, eye-rolling, 1960's hippie sanctimony it was very entertaining. I mean, in case you haven't seen it yet. I don't want to spoil it for you. That's just the kind of guy I am. I don't mind telling you it got me blubbering like a schoolgirl after a triple feature of Steel Magnolias, Dying Young, and... um... some other movie where Julia Roberts dies. Geez, there must be over half a dozen of those things. Anyway I was thinking of the scene near the end of the movie where Darth Vader is talking to Lt. Dances With Wolves and Vader is explaining how the field will attract visitors and he says "It's Baseball Ray". Man, that really hit home. It was right up there with all those other memorable movie lines like "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn" , "Play it again, Sam", and "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto". Wait, none of those lines were ever actually... uh... well it doesn't matter.

I really tried, by the way, to get video of each of the lines that were actually used in the above movies but I ran into a brick wall with copyright laws and The Wizard of Oz. It did however try to steer me to the Wizard of Oz sinc-up with Pink Floyd's The Dark Side of the Moon. You may have heard the urban legend wherein if you mute the movie and start the Dark Side of the Moon album at the exact moment the MGM lion stops roaring in the opening credits then the music and lyrics follow the movie "exactly". It's entertaining but it's a bunch of bunk. No, if you want a real freak out then sinc up Citizen Kane with Weird Al Yankovic's album Poodle Hat. It was mind blowing, I couldn't sleep for days knowing the implications of what I saw.

OK, maybe I'll talk about Night at The Museum next time, or the sports movie thing. I like the sports movie thing, I could probably plow through a few paragraphs wrought with hi jinks and hilarity with little effort on my part. Stay tuned.

Trailer for Field of Dreams

Trailer for Steel Magnolias

Trailer for Dying Young

Trailer for The Wizard of Oz

Trailer for Citizen Kane

Trailer for Night at the Museum, Battle of the Smithsonian